Friday, January 28, 2011

Why Do You Never See Any Cockney Goths?

They're too cheerful. Ruin it for the rest of us.

Baha. I love Noel Fielding. A lot.

Anyway. Did a lot of thinking. I'm going to try to not get down with boys unless I know for sure it's a good idea. I am not going to let, or ask boys to, fiddle around with my bits. I am going to try to play with only girls until I get my weirdness sorted out.

I'm not going to call it a failure if I do spend a night with a guy, but only if it is not a horrid idea, and if I have a good time.

In other news, I am the proud owner of a Wild Zero dvd. Lock n LOLL!!!!
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Sunday, January 23, 2011

Bonafied Lovin'

It's interesting how ex boyfriend from when I was 15 seems to be one person whose conversation I perpetually enjoy.

I need a booty call. Preferably one with an actual phone.

My sex drive has been fucking ridiculous. Frealz.

I am such a cluttery jumble of a person. My drinking is getting a bit out of hand. I don't even know what I want anymore. Aside from alcohol. And attractive people. And video games.

UGH. So grumpy! Check out this awesome text I received:

"dont blame yourself. you thought i was a level 56 mage class elf. anyone would have sent a picture of their peirced nip nips!"

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There and Back Again

So..... hrmmm... Made sexy time/spent the night with a certain nerd boy again. It was.... enjoyable, if not absolutely incredible. I mean, he's lovely and fun, but, a tad inexperienced. And fucking hot. Ugh. So frustrating.

I kinda feel like most of my friends are just keeping their distance... which sucks. I rather enjoy my friends.

I cannot wait to be 21.

Also... Joe is awesome, and highly attractive.... but, I wish Kyle was a more viable option. Dammit.
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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

oh Wowzers

Best oral of my life this morning. Wowwwwwwwww.

I mean, it was very excellent. But lacked a certain something.

Well, anyway. Rockin.

P.s. I get what I want, bitches.
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Monday, January 17, 2011

Ooooohhh Jeeeeeeezzzzzz

Giddy God's trousers.
Liiiiife. You are silly.
I want, and like, what I want, and like, when i want, and like, it!

Anyway. I have pictures of pokebra.

Hell. I hope someone appreciates it.

Sunday, January 16, 2011


Well. Elation, followed by misery, followed by elation, followed by elation at being with a certain person, followed by worry, and by being belated... which leads to sadness.

Why is it so wrong to do what makes me happy? Because this makes me happy. I am very, very happy with recent happenings. I kinda hella dig 3 of the people at that house...

But daaayyyyyuuuummmmm. Joe is fucking hot. And gives an incredible massage. And, you know, is super fucking hot. Butterflies and such!!!!!

I hope I don't fuck everything up. And, I hope these people continue to be my friends. They make me feel exciting and wanted.

Now, to decide what I should do tonight......
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Saturday, January 15, 2011


Last night was fucking EPIC. So much whiskey. So much Kpop. So much craziness. So much....... sexy time with Joe Graham while Jurassic Park was on? I also got a bitchin massage. And all sorts of other nice bits of attention. Woke up for a snuggle and some Jersey Shore before work. I'm quite elated.

That boy is delish. And has a lot of anime.

My Pokeball bra was a success!!!
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Thursday, January 13, 2011

Heartache By The Number

I, once again, reiterated to Erik how I need freedom to explore myself right now. He, once again, was having none of that. However, in the bit of time I had before a meeting, I just told him how I am going to do things, and that is that.

I feel bad... and, I do love Erik... but, I need to take care of myself.

Ughhh, I'm so worried and nervous.

On a brighter note, I watched some delightfully violent movies with Taylor and her roommate Fort last night. It was excellent! Going back tomorrow. Yippee!
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Wednesday, January 12, 2011


OMG OMG OMG FFSMML! Help! I am on the rack of red bottomosity.... girdy loins girdy loins.....
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Our Lord Sandra... FFSMML!!!!

I like that my phone recognizes FFSMML as a word.

So I had a rather.... um.... disturbing, if not, in some ways pleasant dream.

I dreamt that Nephew's baby mama killed him, then herself, and I found them dead in a truck near Springville....
Afterward, I was very distraught, but Erik was like, ignoring the fact, and went off with Sher'l.
So, in my distraught mind, I made Jamin pick me up in a helicopter that shot fire (?), and we partied. Then I made sexy time with a certain boy who lives at the HQ and a certain female roommate of his. Christy walked in in the middle, because she was mad that I hadn't put my taco wallet in my vag as a "surprise".......?

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Tuesday, January 11, 2011


I DO still like guys.
Weirdy weird weird.
I love Erik... but...
I need to see other people.
And I want to see other guys, too.
I'm curious.
I wish I could have the freedom I've given Erik. But.... things are always on his terms.

My friends are not receptive when I need to talk about it as of late.

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Sunday, January 9, 2011


Well, Greg's pre-birthday was a success. Normalcy has thus far alluded me.

My life is an absolute mess. I don't even know what to do about it.

I feel so absolutely dissociative.
I haven't been this crazy, or ill, in quite some time. I've been going through the motions, but, things are not the same.

Something changed when Erik decided he was "in love" with that girl. And I don't think I can fix things.

I know the logical choice would be to just move out, and do something new.

But I don't know what I should do.
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Sunday, January 2, 2011

Liquor'd Up

Well. Things have been odd. Erik broke the other girl's heart, then promptly was a complete asshole to me.

So I made out with a guy, whose name is apparently Joe Graham. Also, apparently, he's Dan Duckett status teenage provo high girl dream material.

I seem to crush teenage dreams. A lot.

I was displaying Glaciosity. Maybe too much. I told said boy I didn't want to have sex with him. And that he couldn't touch my vag. He did have nice hair, and some rather nice formal wear.

Christ Why and I discussed the happenings at the mall. We are like Clueless, without all of the money.

The trip to the ER for Christ Why's gallbladder was... eventful. Haha. Hazen danced to NSYNC.

Noise music with Erik and Greg is fun! I'm beginning to despair hardcore of Erik and I repairing our relationship any time soon.

My emotions and psychological business is a bit on the fritz. Thank baby Jesus, and the pharmaceutical industry, for Prozac.

Also.... Fallout New Vegas. I am in love.
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